WHAT I THINK ABOUT THE STUPID STUFF GOING ON IN THE WORLD
I am constantly amazed at how people in this world will do crazy things to get children who are babies, YET leave older kids who are in need in the Foster care system without providing any help to them. I am also amazed at how little a father is really worth in society these days. I am also deeply troubled and amazed at the lack of common sense some people display. Before I start this sorted story, I just want to say that I believe that the adoptive parents, Jared and Kristi Frei, are likely good people. They are, however, doing the wrong thing by not giving Terry Achane’s daughter back to him after his wife gave her up for adoption without his knowledge!
In 2010, Tira Bland Achane was a married woman living in Texas. She and her husband, Terry Achane, started having problems in their marriage shortly before she discovered she was pregnant. Tira was beside herself. She and her husband were having problems, she was pregnant and her husband, who is in the military, was transferred to Fort Jackson, South Carolina. Tira weighed her options. She talked to her husband and suggested they have an abortion or put the child up for adoption. Terry didn’t want either of those choices to be the reality for his child. He talked with Tira and expressed the fact that he wanted the child they would have together. However, 10 days after his transfer, what he wanted wouldn’t matter. Tira, his wife went into premature labor. Instead of happily calling her husband to tell him he had a new child, she called an adoption agency in Utah. Although she is not a Utah resident, she signed the baby over to Utah residents Jared and Kristi Frei WITHOUT telling her husband. Then she terminated all contact with her husband. That set Terry Bland on a courtroom odyssey to get his daughter back and set him up against Utah’s adoption laws that make a father an afterthought.
Tira Bland was very deceitful. Not only did she deceive her husband and cut off contact with him so he would not know her whereabouts, she also did something to ensure that he would not be notified of where his daughter was. She gave the adoption agency a false address for her husband. She knew the documents sent by the adoption agency would never reach him. Tira also knew that her husband would put up a fight for his child. Now here is where things get REALLY sticky! The adoption agency, according to published reports, KNEW that Terry Achane didn’t know about his daughter’s adoption AND they told Jared and Kristi Frei this! WOW! WHAT? How do you KNOWINGLY take a child whose father does NOT KNOW she has been placed for adoption?
When Terry found out about the adoption the fight was on. Terry went to court to get his little girl back. He won. Jared and Kristi Frei were ordered to give the child to her father within 60 days. They refused. What resulted was a two year battle that recently culminated with a judgement against the Frei family. They are supposed to return the child to her father, but they have vowed to continue the fight instead of letting this man reunite with his child! That is despicable!
In addition to that, they have posted a website where they have attacked the father for not reaching out to them to ask for pictures and for not sending toys or other items to the little girl. When I read that I almost gagged! Why would a man send anything to two people he has watched hold on to his child as if she were their child when they KNOW he wants her back and DID NOT KNOW she was placed up for adoption? Why would he send them anything? He is trying to get her HOME! The Frei family has HIS child - he doesn’t have their child! If I were fighting for my child with another family who refused to give her up AND refused to follow a judge’s order, I wouldn’t try to reach out to them either. After I determined that they were not going to give my child back, my sole focus would be fighting them. How DARE Jared Frei and Kristi Frei ATTACK A MAN FOR WANTING HIS CHILD BACK! I honestly think that Tira should be arrested, but those are my personal feelings and there are no laws to support that. However, the fact remains that this man wants and deserves to have HIS child! He didn’t know what his wife was doing! He was a married man going through problems. That happens. However, you don’t give up a child because you and your husband are having problems! If the husband wants the child, give the child to him! Why would you give the child to two people YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW when you had a husband who was willing to take the child? There were no allegations of abuse. There was just a marriage in trouble!
This reminds me of the other case I have written about. In the case of Chandra and Tom Zarembeski, the mother also gave the child up for adoption without the father’s consent. The key difference is that the father was not married to the mother at the time. Utah treats unmarried fathers like absolute crap and does NOT recognize their rights! That case is still going on to my knowledge - although the father still has been unable to see his daughter! What are those people going to tell her when she gets old enough to read everything on the web? I hope she sees that her daddy loves her. I also hope she reconnects with him and allows him into her life once she is old enough to make the choice.
I wish people would be more responsible. I shudder to think what could have happened to this little girl at the hands of a mother who didn’t want her if she and her husband had split up when the girl was 5 or 8 or 11! She might have abused her. Thankfully, although they are doing the wrong thing by holding on to her, Jared and Kristi Frei appear to have taken good care of the child while she has been in their care. However, she belongs with her father. How are they going to explain to this little girl when she gets older that her father fought for her and they refused to give her to her own dad? I’m sure they could attack him like they did on their website, but I personally would not be able to stomach that from my parents.
Hopefully, Jared Frei and Kristi Frei will not break the law and will give this little girl back to her father. I wish we could take THEIR biological children away and see how THEY feel about it so they could fully understand what Terry Achane is going through. He has only been able to see his daughter twice. What a shame! Jared Frei and Kristi Frei AND Tira Bland should ALL be ashamed of themselves!
Here is the website where Jared Frei and Kristi Frei attacked the father for trying to get his daughter back -http://frei-adoption.com/Frei/Leah.html
Here is the story on Yahoo -
Here is the story on the Daily Mail-
Here is a link to the story of Chandra Zarembeski and Thomas Zarembeski who have refused to give a child back to her father after the child was placed for adoption without his knowledge or consent -