I came across a story about a woman who decided that she couldn’t take care of her disobedient son. Instead of killing him, she drove 1000 miles from Georgia to Nebraska to drop him off at a hospital under Nebraska’s safe haven laws. After reading the story, I decided to read through some of the comments. I came to a point where I just had to stop. This whole thing is so very stupid.

 

Most people were upset that this woman didn’t want to live up to her responsibility. She was a ‘ho’ according to one person. She was an idiot according to another. She wanted to drop her burden on someone else, according to another comment. However, no one praised this woman for trying to take the kid to a safe place instead of just killing him.

 

This woman was a troubled teen. She went to a group home for troubled teens and managed to turn her life around. She had her soon and another child. The father of the son is out of the picture. She has stated that his behavior is so bad that she doesn’t know what to do. After reaching a point where she was just overwhelmed, she decided to give the child to the state of Nebraska. This woman was clearly frustrated. Now she could have killed the kid and tried to go on with her life. It’s happened before and I assume, since there are a lot of people who don’t know how to be parents to their children, it will happen again. Instead, she tried to get help and when she finally felt like she couldn’t take it anymore, she took the kid somewhere safe to abandon him.

 

My question is simple. How are people supposed to know how to be a parent if they don’t have maternal instincts or are never taught? Kids don’t come with a damn manual. In fact, you can have a kid without having a job. You can’t get a house without money. Is a house more important than a kid? You can’t even drive a car without the proper license, yet you can have as many kids as you want at any time that you want without so much as a peep from the government. Why? I know this is a little overboard, but isn’t it time that we stopped allowing people to procreate at will? Let’s stop this foolishness! We can eliminate teenage pregnancy and adult pregnancies if we come together and stop allowing women who can’t afford them to have kids AND try to raise them. How about it everyone?

 

If you think that what I wrote above is crazy, you are probably right. It is crazy. What is crazier is trying to condemn this woman for reaching her breaking point. She did the right thing. If she couldn’t handle the kid, taking him to a safe place is better than killing him. There are some women who just HAVE the maternal instinct. They are in sync with their babies and everything rolls along smoothly for them. There are far more women who don’t have all of the answers. There are far more women who are scared and inept when it comes to raising kids. It doesn’t make them bad people. It just makes them poor parents. If there was a step by step manual for raising children, then I would condemn this woman as a stupid asshole that just didn’t read the book. However, there is no manual. When you leave that hospital with your little bundle of _ _ _ _ _ (insert your preferred word here…for some it will be joy…for others… maybe not…), you are on your own. If you made a bad choice for the child’s father, you are on your own. If you don’t have family and friends to help, you are on your own. If you don’t have any money, you are on your own. It can get hard and frustrating, but you are still on your own.

 

Let’s hope that this woman finds the strength and the help she needs for herself and her son. When we say it isn’t our problem or dismiss her as just another poor woman with a kid, we risk ignoring the trickle down effect of the problem. This kid is going to grow up and take his childhood frustrations out on some undeserving person later on. Some mothers are blessed, others need some help. Let’s not get so high and mighty that we start turning a cold heart to people like this woman. Cries for help need to be answered before they turn into something far worse. This woman is certainly crying out….and so is her son. Have you ever needed help?